The Conflict Between Wish and Reality in Love and Relationships
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| Why do you worry?? |
Love begins with the heart, but in many cultures — especially Asian societies — it often ends in compromise. The conflict between what we wish for in love and what we are expected to do in marriage creates lifelong struggles for many couples.
Why Do We Marry for Society, Not Ourselves?
From childhood, people are taught that family reputation and social approval matter more than personal happiness. As a result, many enter marriages not out of love, but to fulfill society’s demands.
This creates relationships where two good people suffer, not because they are wrong for each other, but because their personalities and emotional needs don’t match.
The Hidden Reality: Survival Over Happiness
In Asian culture, women often bear the greater sacrifice. Many are financially dependent on their husbands and pressured by society to remain in marriages, even when they feel trapped or emotionally disconnected.
This silence leads to loneliness, lies, and secret emotional lives. People may seek love elsewhere not out of betrayal, but out of survival — just to feel alive again.
The Healing Path: From Survival to Living
Healing doesn’t mean ignoring responsibilities, but learning to balance the heart’s truth with life’s demands. Here are ways to begin:
1. Acknowledge Your True Feelings – Stop denying what your heart says. Healing begins with honesty to yourself.
2. Open Communication – Speak with your partner; sometimes hidden pain can soften through understanding.
3. Build Financial & Emotional Independence – Empowerment gives freedom to make dignified choices.
4. Redefine Love – Relationships can evolve from passion into respect and companionship.
5. Prioritize Mental Health – Seek therapy, counseling, or supportive communities.
6. Find Courage to Rebuild Life – In some cases, separation is healing. Choosing peace over lifelong pain is an act of self-respect.
The conflict between wish and reality will always exist, but silence is never the answer. Healing comes when we stop pretending to ourselves, whether by finding new meaning in the relationship or by having the courage to walk away.
✨ Life is too short to live only for society. True healing begins when you choose to live with honesty and peace in your heart.